A few tips from an old hat at Coronavirus

I’m sad to say how amusing it is watching the UK fuck up coronavirus so much, as well as self styled Facebook commentators spread falsehoods about it. Here are my top tips for surviving the zombie apocalypse, I mean Covid-19…

1) Don’t be a dick – it hurts you….

Viruses spread through germs. Soap kills germs. If you buy all the soap, other people can’t wash their hands, the disease still spreads. It’s called science.

2) This isn’t the fucking flu

Certain dumbasses who are also president of the US of A have asked why we can’t use a flu vaccine. You cannot put an ostrich into a round hole.

3) Stop comparing it to the flu

Coronavirus isn’t the flu, again it’s called science, and it has not gone away yet.

4) Herd immunity doesn’t work

Is there anyone in your life over 70 that you like? Yep, me too, don’t buy into the government bullshit.

5) What is your problem with face masks?

Face masks protect others, not you. It is therefore polite and prudent to wear them. This isn’t a fashion parade…..

6) Stop socialising

Yeah, it sucks, but who cares? You can drink at home.

7) Don’t look down on Asians act like them.

We didn’t fight over toilet roll, we acted as a community. It’s really that simple. Also, it’s largely under control in Asia, don’t export it back, please.

8) Restrict your travel

The saddest thing I can say as a travel agent, but it’s time to look after the many, not the few.

And that’s my 8 top tips for coronavirus or Covid-19. Hope to see you on the other side.

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